How do we get here?
How do we get to the place where three teenage boys are able to not only stand by and watch as a person is pleading for help as they drown, not picking up the phone to call police…but laughing and seemingly enjoy it as if it were a sporting event?
In some states, evidently not Florida, the teens could be charged with a crime of Depraved Indifference.
Depraved: Morally Corrupt; wicked
Indifference: Lack of interest, concern, or sympathy; unimportance
My Facebook feed was devoid of this article today. It was something I found reference to and then had to go look up myself.
Making sure it wasn’t fake news or anything.
So, how do we get here? How does our Facebook feed become riddled with political garbage, fake news, the latest fitness craze, or peace and sparkles?
What excuses do we make when we scroll past these stories in order to make ourselves “feel better”?
· “They must have a terrible home life”
· “Maybe they are gang members”
· “Perhaps they’ve watched too many violent video games or movies”
Contrast this event with an event I watched in a courtroom on the same day.
Courtrooms are typically civilized places, with a set of rules, an order of things, and a professional level of respect and camaraderie among the lawyers, even those on opposing sides.
As lawyers do, each side approached their respective tables, opening briefcases, referring to notes, leaning over and whispering to their clients and each other, preparing for the hearing and awaiting the Judge’s appearance in the courtroom.
Doing what it is lawyers do.
As all were getting settled in, the lone female lawyer, a woman of approximately 40 years old, reached into her briefcase and drew out packets of documents, informing the lawyers on the other side of the table that these were copies of the pleadings [arguments, declarations, etc. filed for the Judge to read] she had filed the night before.
She was doing what I have seen lawyers do countless of times – basically extending them a professional courtesy by providing copies of documents that had been filed late – in case they had not yet reviewed them.
[It should be noted that the other side had filed late documents the night before, as well.]
Context:
This has been a contentious case. The clients on the respective sides are warring. The maneuvers being used are fast and hard to keep up with.
This is nothing new in my world. Contention is often the name of the game, but does not typically preclude the normal professional courtesies extended to the parties involved.
Out of the blue, the man in the tan suit, a man in the range of 65 to 70 years of age, started yelling at this woman. Red faced, angry, literally out of control.
“I WILL NOT ACCEPT THESE DOCUMENTS!”
“YOU ARE UNETHICAL!”
“YOU ARE PULLING ONE ‘FAST ONE’ AFTER ANOTHER!”
The woman stepped back. She said nothing.
Everyone stopped. The handful of us in the gallery. The young lawyer co-chairing the “side” this woman was on. And three additional men on the side of the man with the tan suit. And then with his face turning purple and spittle being flung from his lips, the coup d’état:
“YOU ARE A CHILD IN EVERY RESPECT.”
I looked at my client, a simple guy, probably the same age of the man in the tan suit. His hand is on the back of the next bench, he’s perched on the edge of his seat, he is clearly ready to get up and address the situation.
But what about the males who were sitting on the side of the man with the tan suit?
Where were they?
I can tell you: their heads were down, the words on the papers in front of them suddenly very important, eyes averted so as not to be a witness to this debacle.
Three grown ass men were silent as their colleague dressed down and berated a female lawyer in a truly unbelievable way.
Before my client could get up, the young female lawyer waited a moment.
In a quiet, but strong voice she told him:
“Sir, I am not a child. I am a 42 year-old woman. I have never been treated in this way before. I completely respect your experience and the work you are doing for your client. It is people like you who I look up to. But I won’t be spoken to in this way.”
Would you have had the strength of character or the presence of mind to respond in this way? I’m not sure I would have.
He could not control himself. The man in the tan suit had to get in one more dig:
“I DO NOT KNOW WHY YOU HAVE TO MAKE THIS SO DIFFICULT!”
And with her calm voice she told him:
“Sir, I grew up in a refugee camp. I can tell you, that is difficult. This? This is just the law. This is just work. I can assure you, this is not difficult.”
And with that she sat down, awaited the Judge to arrive, and over the course of the haring, was able to make her arguments as well as any of the more experienced guys at the table.
So, what do the two situations have in common? Three boys watching silently as a disabled man drowns? Three grown, educated men watching as a young woman is being dressed down and humiliated in a professional setting?
I can tell you:
Depraved Indifference
If three grown, educated, professional men are too weak to ask their colleague to tone it down; if three grown, educated, professional men are so weak that they have to avert their eyes so as not to witness the altercation; if three grown, educated, professional men are so weak that they are incapable of standing up for what is right and not allowing said colleague to dishonorably treat another colleague (never mind dishonorably treat a woman!), then who is setting the standard for men to be men? Who is leading the next generation? Who is standing up to ensure that evil is banished from our society?
Evil flourishes right out in the open when “good men” do nothing. And I can assure you, evil does not always look like gang members, or ISIS, or airplanes being flown into buildings.
It does not have to take a significant or criminal event to witness evil. It walks around and is present every day in our lives.
Sometimes it is even dressed up as a nice looking educated man in a tan suit.
See Something? Say Something…and Be the change you want to see in the world.
