As I do fairly frequently during our short-lived summers, I peeked my head into our local “nail spa” in hopes that there would be an empty chair waiting for my bi-weekly pedicure. This particular place is a replica of so many other similar establishments. A dozen or more pedicure chairs lined up along one wall, a few manicure tables filling the open space, and two “waxing rooms” – private areas where all manner of hair removal services are carried out. Staffed by a crew of Asian men and women, likely of Vietnamese, Thai, or Philippine ancestry.

“Pick your colah” I am instructed by the Asian woman in charge. I do. Bright red. It is after all, the 4^th of July.

A group of ladies, I later learn family members together for an annual reunion, have just been seated in their chairs. They are handed a menu.

“What kind of pedicure you like?” the manicurists ask. Before these women are able to ponder the “pedicure menu” the manicurists press on – “We do the deluxe. The deluxe is sooooo nice. Make your feet feel real good.” And just like that, deluxe, it is.  Within a minute the establishment just made an extra $60 (4 sets of feet times $15 price increase for each) and the ladies oohed and aahed about the prospect of the hot wax that was part of the “deal.”

I can’t help but chuckle. As a successful business owner myself, I have to admire the ability of the workers in these establishments to “upsell.” They are constantly upselling services. Effortlessly. With a smile.

I always find myself wishing I could be better at that.

But, I digress.

As I am directed by a beautiful girl to a massage/pedicure/lounge chair, with warm soapy water bubbling in the bowl, I walk by a girl with purple toes.

Ah, purple toes. Maybe one day I will find the courage to paint my toes purple. But in a world of lawyers and courtrooms and professional meetings, I typically choose a conservative red hue or if I’m feeling feisty, hot pink.

It wasn’t purple so much, as it was lavender…with sparkles in the lacquer. Quite lovely. Tasteful. Perhaps my mind could be swayed, perhaps I could go out on a limb one day?

Before I could get too far down the road of changing my nail color, I realized that she too, was in the midst of an “upsell” moment. Only this time, the manicurist wasn’t winning.

“But the gel is so nice. It last longer.”

Gel nails. All the rage lately, great for durability and long-lasting color. But not so great if you want a simple polish change or aren’t planning to visit the nail spa every two weeks to have them maintained.

The girl with the purple toes was explaining all of this to the manicurist. She clearly was there for a special occasion and had no intention of returning for regular nail maintenance.

“You no want the gel? How come you no want the gel?”

And that’s when I saw it.

First, multiple patrons are staring at this young woman who is trying to make this all-important decision.

Second, her manicurist and another are smiling at each other, almost mocking the girl.

And the girl with the purple toes. She was paralyzed. Her mouth partially agape.

I could see it all over her face.

• “Will I hurt their feelings if I say ‘no’?”
• “Will they talk about me while I finish out the rest of my services?”
• “I really just want a regular manicure, but maybe the gel IS better?”
• “What if they get mad?”

She did not know what choice to make.

Or, did she?

The girl with the purple toes had already made up her mind. She knew that she just needed purple polish for the upcoming event. She knew that she didn’t have the time and/or the funds for gel polish upkeep. She knew that she wanted to get out of there and on with the rest of the day.

But she was so worried about what “they” were thinking (who is “They”, anyway?!) that she forgot about what was practical and economical and made sense for her and succumbed to the gel service.

I have been exploring an idea, lately. And it is this one: how do I stop reacting emotionally, to decisions in my life? Reacting, typically, to outside forces that could be real or not?

As I have posed this question, some of the most extraordinary circumstances have presented themselves to me. Admittedly, I haven’t successfully reacted as I had wished in every scenario. But, I am getting better.

And it has made my life infinitely better and more serene.

So, what happens when we take the emotions out of most situations?

In this scenario, we are only talking about nail polish – gel or regular. This is not a life-altering decision. This will impact no one.

Or, does it?

It certainly had an impact on her. She looked defeated as she walked out of the nail salon a short time later. Not happy about enjoying a couple of hours of pampering on a beautiful sunny afternoon.

And, I can’t help but wonder….if we are unable to overcome a simple decision about gel or regular nail polish, how are we going to make bigger decisions in our lives?

What if the girl with the purple toes had let her emotions pass through her, and allowed herself to reason, instead:

• “They would like to make more money on this service. It’s not about me.”
• “They know that if they sell me this service I will be more likely to come back in two weeks to have them refreshed. In other words, making them more money. It’s not about me.”
• “I don’t even know these people. What do their thoughts or feelings have to do with my personal decision? Certainly, if they think badly about me, it’s not about me. That would be on them.”

And there it is. “Me.” It’s all about us, isn’t it?

How we “feel”…how we think others will perceive us…the stroking of our proverbial egos.

I’m finding that the first and most important step of not reacting to situations emotionally means taking “Me” out of the equation. It has been one of the keys to unlocking clarity and joy in my life.

I love telling stories. I love learning from stories. The girl with the purple toes was my sign. A signal to let my stories and their revelations be unlocked and shared.

As I wrapped up my pedicure (yes, I wanted the Deluxe), and my $12 buff and shine manicure, “You like deluxe manicure, too? {No, thank you}”, I thought about the girl with the purple toes. I thought about how she left a small piece of herself behind in that nail spa and how so many of us do the same without even realizing it.

The glorious afternoon concluded with the excruciating but necessary eyebrow wax.

I couldn’t help but laugh out loud when my manicurist tried a last-ditch upselling opportunity: “You like lip wax, too?“